I feel very "out of the loop." I have friends I don't get to talk to or see much because life is so hectic. And when I do get some down time, I just want to spend it with my husband and kids. I want to relish in the normal parts of life because so much of mine and Matt's and the kids' life together is so, well, not normal. I get so upset when people don't seem to understand that. Some people don't realize we can't just drop everything and do whatever.
I am relieved, however, to announce that I will be leaving my job at the beginning of August to stay at home to devote my time to my children. I have wanted this for a long time, and we have finally worked it out. My wonderful husband has been extremely supportive of this; he feels I belong at home with our kids as well. Being at home will allow me to take care of all their medical needs and be able to have quality time with them instead of having to rush around every day trying to get ready for work and then going to work all day and coming home late just to have to make dinner and get the kids ready for bed. Each day that passes is one day gone of their childhood. They don't stay like this forever, and it pains me thinking of all the moments I am missing being away from them like I am. It melts my heart when I walk in from work and Emberlynn runs to me, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy!" and Cohen sees me and gets excited and starts fussing until I go pick him up and hold him tight.
I'll miss my job and being able to have adult interaction during the day, but my kids are worth it, and this time with them is precious. I am so blessed to have this opportunity. There are so many moms who want to stay home who can't. So even though I know it won't always be blissful being with two small children all day long, I'll remember to still be grateful to have the opportunity so many others don't.
Maybe once I stay home and things settle down for us, we will be able to see more of our friends and family we are slowly losing touch with. It makes me sad, but we are not doing it on purpose, and I hope everyone understands that.
