Garbanzo Bean Blondies

I'm sure just after reading the title of this post, you are thinking, "Um, gross." A few years ago, I would have thought the same thing. But I have altered mine and my family's eating habits drastically since Matt and I got married six years ago. We have made small changes over the years (like switching from "white" grains to whole wheat stuff, etc.).

But that's an entirely different blog (or several). This blog is about the Garbanzo Bean Blondies I

made from a recipe I found on fellow blogger Jami's blog. It gluten-free (although she points out that oats, which are one of the ingredients, is currently suspected to contain gluten, though I don't know this has been proven). We have not gone gluten-free, and I don't intend to unless it's medically necessary (I mean, we have enough nutritional challenges around here without hopping on the gluten-free bandwagon for social reasons), but I am all about making sweet treats more nutritious. I don't know the actual numbers, but I know these blondies have fiber and protein and are flour-less. They do, however, have sugar and chocolate, but if they didn't, you'd have blondies that taste like beans. Ick.

I would just say to hop over to Jami's blog for this recipe, but I had to modify a few things (namely, not mixing the ingredients in a blender as she suggests because my blender is apparently not as efficient as hers).

You will need:

• (1) 15-oz can garbanzo beans/chickpeas
• 2 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 cup almond butter (or peanut butter)
• 1 egg
• 1/4 cup oats
• 1 Tbsp ground flax seed
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/8 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 cup brown sugar (packed)
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Drain and rinse your can of beans. If you have a blender or food processor, I recommend pouring the beans in there and pulsing it to break up the beans. Otherwise, you can do in manually in a bowl. Once your beans are mashed up, place in a bowl and add vanilla and almond butter (or peanut butter) and mix together. Add egg, oats, and flax seed and mix together. Add brown sugar, salt, baking soda, and baking powder and mix again.

Finally, fold in the chocolate chips.

Grease an 8x8 baking dish (mine is glass) with cooking spray (I use canola oil spray, but I also have coconut oil, which would be great to use also). Scrape the batter into the dish and bake at 350 for about 4o minutes, give or take. The outside of mine was done before the middle, which was still pretty gooshy. I just kept checking the middle every few minutes with a toothpick until it was done. Let them cool like you would brownies before cutting into them.

My verdict: These were good with just a hint of the bean taste, but the sugar and chocolate cover it up quite well. If you are new to this (healthifying desserts), I don't know that I would recommend this as your first one to try, only because they taste much different than your traditional blondies/brownies, and you may be turned off by the idea entirely.

I'll update this later to let you know what my husband thought about them and if I was able to get my kids to try them (they are strange in that they have to be talked into trying everything, even desserts, whether it is healthy or not).

This is why I "stay at home", literally

I get a little irked sometimes when I hear people complain about things that pale in comparison to what others are going through. Of course, as humans, we are all going to complain, or at least want to complain, about things that are going on in our lives. I try not to complain if I can help it because what I go through, no matter how serious, I know there are people going through worse, who have more stressful things to deal with on a daily basis.

That said, I thought I would share what a typical day for us looks like. I will say right now that I know there are people whose days are way more complicated/busy/stressful/[insert adjective here], but for many people I know, their days are not as crazy as they might think once you get a glimpse of the "craziness" that ensues here. I am not posting this for attention on my part, only to allow others to see life in my shoes and therefore better appreciate their own and not complain so much about the little things that don't really matter.

Around 6:30 am: After being up every couple of hours (or sometimes every hour) with an infant whose nursing schedule hasn't changed since birth, Cohen crawls into my bed and taps me on the face until I wake up, greeting me with, "Mom, I need bruck-fist." Usually, he wakes his brother up in the process since Kyden still rooms with us and will until he decides that sleeping through the night is a widely accepted practice. If Kyden is due to nurse, I will nurse him in bed before getting up to start our morning, much to Cohen's dissatisfaction, who is hungry first thing in the morning. (I'm the same way, so I can't blame him.)

Around 7 am: The boys and I go the kitchen, where I get enzymes ready for Cohen and Emberlynn. I usually hear Emberlynn around this time, who calls for me because she is attached to a feeding tube and pole, and it's a pain in the rear to haul that thing around unless you really have to. There is almost always an urgency in her voice because she usually needs to pee after having 24 ounces of high-calorie formula pumped into her stomach all night long. I unhook her so she can go potty. While she takes care of business, I give Cohen his enzymes and breakfast, which begins with a whole-milk yogurt (Yobaby is a food group around here), in which I mix his nasty liquid vitamins and probiotic powder, which he totally doesn't even realize. As he eats (well, inhales, really) his yogurt, Emberlynn is usually done, and I flush the extension that goes into her mic-key button, put her liquid vitamins through it, and flush it again, then remove her extension. She takes her enzymes (she has to take them before and after tube feedings), but she rarely eats a breakfast because she is so full from the formula.

Emberlynn and Cohen usually play, or Emberlynn works on school work while Cohen plays, while I get started on whatever chores need to be done (laundry, dishes, vacuuming, etc.) and tend to Kyden, who eats breakfast at different times depending on when he nurses. I also wash and sterilize Emberlynn and Cohen's nebulizers, which must be done every day at least once per day. If it's a "TOBI month" (Emberlynn is on an inhaled antibiotic every other month for 28 days), I wash nebs twice a day because she has it in the morning and at night.

9:30 am: After having Emberlynn and Cohen clean up any messes they have made, they have a morning snack, but not before taking their required enzymes. Kyden usually lays down for a nap at this time, which allows me to get Emberlynn and Cohen's Vest machines out and hooked up.

10:00 am: The kids wash up from snack and get on their Vests for therapy time (these machines help break up the sticky mucus in their lungs), which is thirty minutes. They usually watch a DVD or a show on Disney or Nick, Jr., but sometimes they choose to play their Mobigos or look at books. We pause their Vests at ten-minute intervals so they can cough and try to get any "yuckies" up. Once Vest therapy is done, they have to do breathing treatments. They each get Pulmozyme, which helps thin out the mucus so they can cough it up more easily. This takes about ten to fifteen minutes to administer. If Emberlynn is on TOBI at the time, she gets it after her Pulmozyme breathing treatment is done. The TOBI takes about thirty minutes.

Kyden wakes up from his nap anywhere from 30 minutes to a couple of hours after he lays down, and he nurses at some point depending on the last time. Now that he is mobile, he loves to crawl to the machines and grab the cords and hoses, so there is a lot of the "Mommy moving Kyden away from the Vest machines" game.

12:00 pm: This is usually when we have lunch. My kids don't choose normal things, like PB&J, but rather, they have a very short list of foods they will eat. For Emberlynn, it's turkey bacon, ham, or "butter noodles", which is spaghetti with butter and "sprinkle cheese" (or leftover ravioli, if we have it, which is not often). She is the world's slowest eater, and most days it literally takes her an hour or longer to eat a very small amount of anything at lunch time. She might also eat a banana yogurt (another Yobaby flavor) or a banana itself, or leftover corn. Cohen usually chooses chicken nuggets, a staple for most any preschooler. I would love to at least buy the organic ones, but our budget doesn't allow for that (it would cost me about $6 for a box of chicken nuggets that would last about three or four days. That's $60 a month or so just for chicken nuggets. Um, no.) I have tried making homemade ones and freezing them, but I guess they just don't have that wonderful processed flavor kids adore. Lately, he has wanted fries also, which are organic, and I cook them in a pan in coconut oil (a great source of good fat and other benefits for the kids, like anti-inflammatory and antibiotic properties) and add salt (another must for CF-ers). He then has another yogurt. Both kids get "treats" if they eat good lunches (Emberlynn likes things like chocolate pudding and Hershey kisses; Cohen chooses goodies like Goldfish or WhoNu cookies, which are our Oreo wannabes).

I feed Kyden his lunch between 12 and 1. And somewhere in there, I make lunch for myself, too, which is usually something easy and quick like a salad or tuna with yogurt.

If there is time after lunch, the kids get a little more play time, or we go outside if the weather is nice.

1:00 pm: Following lunch, it's nap time for Cohen and sometimes Kyden if he is ready for his second nap (otherwise he goes down a little later). Cohen and I read a book together before he lays down. This is usually Emberlynn's main school time, although lately she has needed rest time (when she is whiny and grouchy), so it depends on her needs for the day.

During this time, Emberlynn and I are doing school, and if Kyden is sleeping along with Cohen, I try to get more housework done and make any important phone calls with as little interruption as possible.

Around 3 or 3:30 pm: Cohen usually gets up from nap, and Emberlynn is either finishing up school work or getting up from her rest time. They both have an afternoon snack (but not before taking enzymes for the fourth time today).

Matt usually gets home around 3:30 if he works a normal 8-hour day, so I am able to get more stuff done around the house and occasionally get in some kind of workout, though most days my motivation for doing that is pretty much nonexistent.

Around 5 pm: I usually start dinner unless it's something that takes longer to prepare, in which case I would start it earlier than five. With Matt home, I can usually get dinner done pretty easily. Sometimes Matt gets the kids started on Vests for their evening treatments, otherwise that's an after-dinner thing.

Around 5:30 or 6 pm: We eat dinner, which usually consists of trying to get Emberlynn and Cohen to eat enough of their dinner. As picky as they are, there are very few things they eat well. I make things high-calorie for them (adding butter or oil to things like veggies and pasta), and I also add salt to their food like usual. Foods that are high in calories on their own (like pizza, casseroles, etc.) are foods that the don't eat well. Go figure. It's an everyday battle and an everyday worry.

Around 6:30 pm: If the kids need baths (they get one every other day), they start them after dinner. Matt usually bathes Cohen while I clean up the dining room and kitchen, then I bathe Emberlynn when Cohen is done. Kyden gets a bath later or in the morning.

7:00 pm: We usually aim to start nightly treatments around this time, and a little earlier if it's a TOBI month. The kids do their Vest therapy again. Once that's done, they start getting ready for bed. They get medications (each of them gets a Prevacid tablet, and Cohen also gets Claritin). Either Matt or myself gets Emberlynn's feeding tube ready, which requires setting up a bag on the feeding machine, pouring in the containers of formula, priming it, and getting other things we need together in order to get Emberlynn on her tube once she's in bed (a giant syringe, water, her extension, etc.). Emberlynn also gets enzymes before bed since she is on a feeding tube.

8:00-8:30 pm: Emberlynn and Cohen both go potty, get their teeth brushed, and we read either from the Bible or read a book before getting tucked in. Sometimes I am nursing Kyden and Matt gets them down, which also requires hooking Emberlynn up to her feeding tube; otherwise, Matt usually tucks Cohen in, and I take care of Emberlynn.

8:30-9:00 pm: This is about the time Kyden goes down; although, as I have already mentioned, he does not sleep for long stretches. He usually stirs and wakes when Matt and I go to bed, and he doesn't always go back to sleep easily.

9:00-10:00 pm: Matt and I have a little while to ourselves, during which we might catch up on a favorite show (thank goodness for DVR), play around on the computer for a little bit, do our daily couple's devotional, etc. We try to go to bed by ten since Matt gets up at 4:15 for work, and I am up constantly through the night with Kyden.

This is a typical day when I don't have anywhere to be, like an appointment or going grocery shopping or taking Emberlynn to a gymnastics class or whatever may come up. It's life, right? On those days, we adjust as needed to make it all work. It can be crazy, but it's our normal, and we really don't know any other life. Just don't take yours for granted.

The Memory Keepers

I have been following a blog written by another mom of three. What appeals to me the most is that she is super-hilarious, and reading her blog is just refreshing to me. She also has some great recipes, which also happen to be gluten-free (because of her middle child, daughter Lila), which are what brought me to her blog to begin with. Her most recent post sums up exactly how I feel about blogging. In short, she says that mothers "blog to tell our story. We are the memory keepers." This is so, so true. If people like to read my blog, that's fine. But it's more for myself and my family so that we can be able to read about things that happened years before, and when my kids are grown and I'm missing them at this age, I know I will appreciate this blog. You can read her full post here.

I really want to blog more, but there is the issue of time. I know you hear that from everyone: "I don't have time." And I'll admit, I do have the time, but I always seem to find something that needs to be done that takes precedence over blogging. Then the time gets away from me, and it's weeks and even months between blogs. I make a promise, even if it's only to myself, that I will blog more regularly, but the cycle restarts.

In my previous life when I was not a wife and mom (I say previous life because my carefree, single life was vastly different than it is now), I was a writer. When I wasn't working and going to school and hanging out with friends, writing was my hobby and favorite pasttime. It was my most intimate relationship, you could say. I could get lost in it for hours. Now writing is like an ex that I've never gotten over: out of my life, always thinking about it, and sometimes running into it and promising I will keep in touch even though I don't once we part ways again. Writing was what defined me, and now all that defines me is being someone's wife and someone's mom.

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with every ounce of my being, and I absolutely adore and cherish my children. I would never trade the life I have now for any promises in the world. I am blessed beyond words to be able to stay at home with my kids and do all the things that come with the job of SAHM. But here's the thing: One day, it will all end. My kids will be grown, and my job will be done. Well, yes, I know I will always be a mom, but they won't need me in the same ways they do now. When the day comes that Matt and I are empty-nesters, I don't want to be left wondering what to do next.

But back to the point: I want to write again, even if it's just blogging a few lines each day, just to say, "Hey, Cohen had a snotty nose today and blew snot bubbles" or "Kyden laughed so hard at his brother's silly antics" or "Emberlynn read an entire book alone today." Or to blog about something besides my children, which sometimes seems impossible because they are essentially my life. My sister suggested doing a food blog, but because keeping up with one blog is challenging enough and having two might cause me to have an aneurysm, I will incorporate my cooking and baking adventures into this one.

And because duty calls (it's currently time for my older two kids' treatments), I will end this with a picture of, you guessed it, my adorable kiddos:

(Ignore the crazy-looking lady on the right, however. She's just there to hold up the adorable infant.)

Kite-flying

I can't say I'm surprised that we have had some unseasonable weather. This is Tennessee, after all, where we have had nineties in October and snow in April. We have had a mild January, with temps that make it feel more like Spring, and I have appreciated it for several reasons (not freezing, for one, followed by more outside time for the kids and lower heating bills!).

Since today was in the sixties, and it was a beautiful sunny day, the kids enjoyed some outdoor play time after lunch and again after nap time and school time (the boys nap and Emberlynn does her school work). It just so happens that Emberlynn is learning about air in science and how air pressure helps objects (like planes) stay in the air. We made paper air planes and flew them in the house, and I told Emberlynn that once we went outside after the boys woke up that we would fly a kite also. This would be the perfect day because there was a nice breeze to keep the kite up.

At first, she was confused and said, "But we can't fly a kite. It isn't Spring. It's Winter." If only the weather was as black and white as her assumption. I explained that it was a warm Winter day and that the weather was just right for kite-flying. She was SUPER excited, so much so that the minute Cohen sleepily walked out of his room after nap, she told him all about it and was telling him to get his shoes on. I had to make her wait since they needed to have snack time first.

Once outside and I got the kite assembled correctly (it took me a few minutes, as I have never actually assembled a kite, only flown one), I held the end of the kite and showed her how to hold the handle with the string and run until it started flying up. She and Cohen took turns, laughing every time it would crash. I think they were more thrilled with the crashing part than anything else. Cohen was the first one to keep it up the air, but I think he got bored with it just hanging out up there and wanted it to crash again. Emberlynn got it to stay up for a while during her next turn. I showed her how to give it more slack so that it would fly even higher.

I think they could have stayed outside all afternoon flying that dollar-store kite. I felt the same way, only I had to go do this important adult thing called making dinner. I was grateful for being able to experience their first times flying a kite.

I wish I had some pictures or, better yet, videos, of them flying the kite, but this was one of those times when being in the moment was more important than being behind the camera. I'm going to remember the looks on their faces and the joy in their laugh as they discovered the magic in the simplicity of flying a kite.

This may be my shortest blog ever

Just blogging to say that one of my "resolutions" (I say that for lack of a better word because I think "New Year's Resolutions" are one thing in society that sets people up to fail and feel like failures...but that's another post entirely) is to blog regularly. I've said this before, but if you know me at all and know what my life is like, I think people will cut me some slack. My goal is to blog once a week, or at least a few times a month. It's not so much for everyone else's interest so much as for my own record and benefit, plus writing has always been therapeutic for me.

But at this moment, there is a pretty awesome guy to whom I'm married who is ready to snuggle up with me and watch a movie, so I'm choosing him over blogging right now. He should feel pretty special. ;-)