Pigs and Oreos

Just a couple of things I heard from my kids today...

Emberlynn: "I think God heard me when I asked him for two brothers. So I could be like Olivia [the pig on Nick, Jr.]. Does that mean Olivia's God is a pig?"

Following this, I had to explain to her that God is the same everywhere, even to Olivia, but Olivia is make believe, and that is why the pigs can walk and talk like humans. I think this confused her more, to be honest. I don't think she wants to believe that Olivia isn't real.

And a few minutes later, this is what I heard from Cohen as he ate his Oreos, his after-lunch treat: "Mommy, these taste like magic!" Good job, Nabisco, on your magical cookie.

"I can't believe I'm six!"

This is what my daughter said today on her sixth birthday. Probably because I kept saying, "I can't believe you are going to be six!" on the weeks and days leading up to it.

Six years ago, just before midnight on February 13th, I was going to bed dreading having to work the next day when my water broke. Well, it didn't break so much as slightly trickle, really. Which is why I thought maybe I had peed on myself. I wasn't due for two more weeks, and "they" (whoever "they" are) say that first babies tend to be late, so I figured it would be early March before Emberlynn Grace would, well, "grace" us with her presence (pun totally intended). My husband and mom finally convinced me I should go to the hospital, even though I knew I would be upset with myself if I had, indeed, peed on myself.

But nearly thirteen hours later, I was pushing, in so much pain but with so much anticipation, excited but scared beyond measure, and she was here. When I saw her face, there were no words. Just tears and floods of overwhelming, unexplainable emotion.

My daughter has no idea how much I love her, that she is a piece of my heart walking around on the outside of my body. She has no idea I was only twenty-one when I had her, that I had no real clue what I was doing, even though I had prepared for parenthood in all the ways I knew how. I wanted to be the perfect mom, and I set these impossible standards for myself. She has no idea that at the end of every day, I question my mothering, hoping that even if I do things wrong or in ways differently than how I planned, she will still feel loved and cherished.

She is my only daughter, and she may always be my only daughter, and I think I have taken that for granted. She isn't a little baby girl anymore. I have this one distinct memory of when she was a newborn baby: she was asleep in the middle of my bed, and I lay next to her watching her for what seemed like hours, thinking how fast she would grow and trying to just take in that moment. I swore I'd never forget what her face looked like at that moment, how she smelled, how small her hands were, how quick her breaths were. Because I knew I would blink, and it would be gone.

Well, I blinked again, and now she is six.

Happy Birthday to my beautiful, intelligent, creative, loving, silly, amazing daughter.

Black Bean Brownies

On Tuesday, I made Garbanzo Bean Blondies, a recipe I found on Jami Nato's blog. She also has a recipe for Black Bean Brownies, which I was dying to try as well. They are gluten-free and have protein and fiber. They even have spinach in them for some added nutrition. I'm all for hiding veggies in yummy things and have been doing it for years.

Jami notes that these brownies are better cold than warm and fresh (the exact opposite of how I like to eat brownies normally). So I figured I'd try it both ways to see if I agree. She is definitely right! Feel free to try it both ways also.

So here's what you need:

**UPDATE**:  Over time, we have changed some of the ingredients we use in recipes.  Instead of canola oil, I now use organic extra virgin coconut oil, and instead of refined sugar, I use coconut sugar or half of each (1/2 cup coconut sugar and 1/2 cup cane sugar, preferrably unrefined).  

• 1 can black beans (15.25 oz), drained and rinsed
• 1/2 cup fresh spinach (more or less)
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup oil (I generally substitute applesauce for oil in normal brownie recipes; however, I wasn't sure how it would turn out with this one, so I left it as is)
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1 TBSP vanilla extract
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 tsp ground coffee
• 1 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• (Note: I put baking powder in the picture thinking I would need it, but this recipe does not call for it. So just ignore that!)

After draining and rinsing your black beans, place in blender and pulse a few times to break them up. Add oil and spinach and blend, blend, blend until it is very smooth with no lumps (you may have to scrape the sides of the blender a few times with a rubber spatula through the process). At this point your mixture should look something like, well, poop. Yep, I said it. After I blended the beans, spinach, and oil, I put the mixture in a bowl because I figured it would be easier. But you can continue to do the rest of the mixing in your blender if your blender is a good one.

Add vanilla, cocoa powder, sugar, coffee, and salt and blend together. Jami says that here she threw in a TBSP of chocolate chips, but this is optional (I didn't add them here). Add the eggs last and pulse until well-blended. Don't overdue it, though. The mixture should now look like actual brownie mix.
Grease an 8x8 baking dish with cooking spray and pour brownie batter into it (it will be pretty thin). Sprinkle the chocolate chips all over the top (mixing them in will make them sink to the bottom, as I learned accidentally...more on that in a moment...). Bake at 350 for 40-45 minutes until middle is done. My confession: I totally forgot to mix in my cocoa powder until the very end. I already had the mixture poured into the dish and about 3/4 of the chocolate chips scattered over the top before I realized this, so I had to mix it in. This is why the following picture looks like it exploded or something. I'm just glad I caught it before baking it, otherwise I think these brownies would have been downright nasty.

Once they were done, I let them cool for a little while before cutting into them. I tried one warm, like I said, and they were just ok. I refrigerated them and tried one once they were cold, and it was way better. They have a coffee/chocolate flavor, and I didn't notice the beans, though you can tell there is something different about them. My husband can't decide if he likes these or the Garbanzo Bean Blondies better, but he likes them both nonetheless. I'm hoping to get Em and Cohen to try the brownies after dinner this evening.

Just a few words

Really, it's February already? As cliche as it sounds, time really does fly. My Emmylou will be six in less than two weeks. Six. Every year, I think, "Wow, I can't believe she is already [insert age here]." She is so much like me, though I'm not sure some of those aspects are good things (like trying to be a perfectionist and being so emotional about everything). Sometimes I look at my daughter and think, Oh, my goodness, she is so incredibly beautiful. And smart. And funny. And then sometimes I look at Matt and think, We made that kid. We did a good job. Even though we were young (still are, thank you!) and inexperienced and had no idea what we were really getting into, we have an amazing daughter. And two amazing boys who followed.

Speaking of my boys (or one of them), Kyden has been crawling for a few weeks. But it's not your normal crawl; it's more of an ape-walk thing where he propels himself forward. In any case, he gets around the house with no problem, pulling DVDs off the shelves and trying to "help" with Em and Cohen's treatments by grabbing the cords that attach to the Vest machines. Yesterday, he found one of his big brother's trucks and put one hand on it and was rolling it back and forth. It was one of the cutest things ever.

I don't want to leave Cohen out of this post, so here is a picture of him being silly in his Sheriff Woody get-up: