My recent miscarriage, though tragic and life-changing, was an unexpected reminder than I need to take care of myself. Was my miscarriage my fault? Not at all. Was there anything I could have done differently to prevent it? No, at least not according to research. But it still made me think about the fact that in order to give a baby the best possible chance to grow, I have to make sure I'm being as healthy as I can be.
I don't expect or even desire to lose a ton of weight over the next few weeks and months. Why would I want to when I know we'll want to try again to get pregnant in the near future? I lost nearly fifty pounds before conceiving my third child and still have about twenty pounds to go before I get back to that pre-pregnancy weight. I even exercised regularly all through that pregnancy (and didn't with my first two), but finding the time and the motivation after having three children has been the issue. I'll admit it: I am completely spent most days, so the thought of exercising is not appealing much of the time. I always feel awesome afterward physically, and mentally I feel accomplished, but actually making myself do it feels like just another chore I have to get done during my already jam-packed days.
So I'm just making small changes and am aiming to lose about ten pounds by Halloween. I'm slowly phasing caffeine and excess sugar from my diet (and if you know me, you know how much I love my sweet tea, which has both). I know it's going to make me healthier in the long run and also create a more ideal place in which a baby can grow once Matt and I feel the time is right to try again. I'm not going to get crazy with the exercise (like doing CrossFit with my husband, which has helped trim him down and build up his muscle) because I don't want to burn myself out. For now, I'm just going to do regular walking (and maybe some jogging and *gasp* a little bit of running), and I'll rely on my treadmill a lot of the time. I may throw in some water aerobics classes here and there at our local civic center when I can go because I genuinely enjoy it, and it is a great calorie-burner.
Aside from the physical aspects, exercise has been a great benefit mentally and emotionally. My moods are better overall when I exercise regularly, so I know it will help me get through the grief of the miscarriage that much better.
I pray I will be able to come back here and post the first of November to share if I have met (or maybe even exceeded) my goal. And if you've recently been through a miscarriage yourself, or any tragedy, for that matter, try to find something positive to focus on that will help keep your mind busy. It won't make you forget--nothing will--but I believe in the long run, doing something good that stemmed from an unhappy experience is probably not a bad thing.
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